Win! Win! Negotiations: Don’t Just Listen to What They Say, Listen to What They’re Saying

An often overlooked principle in the art of negotiations is the ability to dissect the truth that is hidden behind their exaggerations. It is imperative that, when we allow the other person to talk, we listen carefully to what they are saying. Paying strict attention to details, within the conversation, will ultimately pay dividends when utilized properly in the course of a negotiation.

Over the years, I have experienced people who try to sell me on how great a particular deal is. They will make statements like, “if you don’t get in now, you could be missing out on the deal of a lifetime. The translation for this statement more often than not is: “I am extremely desperate to make a sale.” If I allow them to rush me into an emotionally charged decision, the results could be detrimental to my business. This is the lemon law principle. The idea in most cases is that they are trying to push their unfortunate situation off on you and charge you a large sum of money for it.  There are a lot of “used car salesman” negotiators out there. (No disrespect to all of the honest used car salesmen.)  If you are not careful they will not only sale you a lemon, but it will be the worst looking lemon in the bunch.  I always require all of the ugliest factors of a deal upfront. I don’t want to hear about all of the upside and potential that a property may have. That translates into: “I would have done it but it would cost too much and the city won’t approve the permits.” This is why it is key to allow them to speak first. With this, you will allow them to give you all of the time and information needed to siphon the truth from every word that comes from their mouth.

If you allow someone to woo and swoon you into the beautiful fairy-tale of a deal that they are selling you, you will inevitably be doomed to fail. When you listen to what someone is ultimately saying, rather than just taking their words for face value, you will save yourself time, money, and heartache. 

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